So, I haven't seen my 'best friend' for the past month, since she's been at another friends house for two or three weeks now (I can't even remember), and we haven't really talked at all. I don't know if I really want to be friends with her anymore or not... We've only hung out three times summer, right? Maybe just a couple more, but for the past three months, that really isn't that much for BEST FRIENDS. I've spent more time with my little sister, and we're so much closer now. I know that's a good thing, but then that's a lot of extra time to become best bestest bester friends with your little sister. I don't know. So, this whole thing that she hasn't been really with me and my other friend started before July 7th. Doesn't that seem a little long? I'm not saying she's been at her friends house all this time, but she's been there the majority of the time. The friends parents don't really care that she's been there so long.

She spends days at other peoples houses, and I can only hang out with her for a couple of days, or else it just kind of gets my mom and dad annoyed and things like that. You know, a little time for yourself after a while? She spends so much time away from home because her moms single and she works a lot and she hates being at work with her mom, so she'll hang out with different friends. But, she's been neglecting me, and I feel like she doesn't want to be my friend either. She considers me one of her best friends when I'm not even sure if I want to see her again. I switched schools, and it's really a hard time for me adjusting to it and everything, and it'd be nice if I could hang out with someone just to kind of chill and get relaxed and not be so scared, and she's really the only one for that. She's the only one I feel comfortable to talking to about anything at all. I keep asking her when she's going to leave, and when she says she's alone, she's on facebook posting random stuff (I can tell she's not at home, because she doesn't have internet). If it's confusing, she says she's at home if I talk to her at night, but then in the morning, I'll check facebook, and it says she posted something right around when I was talking to her. It'd be nice if she'd leave just for the weekend, just so I can just feel better about changing schools. I told her that my first week was really hard and that I needed someones shoulder to cry on, and she didn't say anything back. I know she has her phone, but she's just kind of ignoring.

I realize it's rude to text someone while they're at someone elses house, but when they've been there for so long, I don't think it really matters anymore. I asked her one day if we could do something, and she said sure. I told her that I had something to do in the morning so we could hang out in the afternoon. I tried contacting her in the afternoon, and turns out she was at her friends house. I asked her if we could do something last Friday, and she said if she wasn't doing anything. She ended up going back to her friends house... It made me feel like she didn't need me and she was totally set up with a new friend. Just the other day, she was talking to some of my friends on facebook, and she was talking about how she should take all my friends and her to see a movie, and didn't even mention me (even though on all those dumb tag things she's been posting she calls me one of her best friends!). none of my other friends did except for my only guy friend. Then my other friends remembered that I existed again. D:

Another thing is, she's been annoying me for a long time. There's just something about her that annoys me a lot. She always insists that she's ugly, when she's always being asked out by guys and she's always being complimented on how pretty she is. Ummm, yeah. You are, stop telling us you aren't so everyone will tell you are. And she as hyperthyroid and other things, and I feel like she uses it to get sympathy and so people won't think that she's so messed up. She blames everything on her hyperthyroid. D:< It's really annoying. And every time she's asked out, she always makes me go through this guessing game trying to figure who it was, even though she always tells them no. It's kind of dumb, and then she says she doesn't care, when she makes a big deal about it! And then she knows no one likes me and isn't going to ask me out until I'm a billion years old, but she still talks about the guys that ask her out. And... we were at a friends party (the friend she's been with for a long time) and all everyone could talk about was guys, and it was just really annoying because my friend knows I'm not like that at all. She says she's not at all, but she still participated in all the dumb marriage/crush games and talked about her 'guy friend' the whole time too.  She told everyone who I liked (whom I don't like anymore, dumb blonde boy. Haha) and teased me about it the whole time, like a bitch. I didn't really care at first, but it got way out of control.

They spammed him with calls until he restricted her number, and then when he unrestricted it, I tried to apologize, but they made fun of me. And he didn't believe me at all. And the first few times he actually talked to him, and one of them asked him: "Out of this room, who would you date?" My friend kept saying that he didn't know that I was here, and he heard. She kept hinting how I loved him, and he heard her every time. It was just really bitchy of her. And she said that she doesn't ever talk to the friend she's been with, and her other friends (who I'm friends with too), but that's all she talks to now! She left me in her friends room when my stomach felt like shit, and my legs were as sore as hell. All of them kept telling me to come down, even though they knew I felt like shit. Even my friend. I really hated it...

And the thing that gets me the most? SHE'S SUCH A POSER. She always says that one of her favorite bands is Panic! at the Disco, even though she doesn't even know the name to 'I Write Sins...' and she doesn't know any of there lyrics!!! And she always asks me whether I like Panic! or Gorillaz more. She judges me on what I like, and it's so horrible! She was such a Green Day fan and now she hardly ever talks about them. She always said that Green Day would mean more to her than any other band, and here she is, being Murdoc's blonde whore (not literally...). She got her friend into Gorillaz, and she's kind of a peppy bitch (no offense), and it bugs me. My friend always acts like she always knows exactly what I'm talking about, even though half the time she doesn't. I have a whole bunch of proof... I hate the fact that she's such a poser when she's really a stuck up bitch fishing for compliments! She says she'd never wear makeup, when her friends facebook picture is her wearing a buttload of eyeliner looking like such a slut. I've always told her that she doesn't look like a slut, even though she's been called one a whole bunch of times. I lied. She does. This whole time I've been friends with her, she's always taken credit for things of mine (like doodles of characters). I have a certain style for dinosaurs, and she ATTEMPTED the same style and put in her binder. One of my friends asked me why I didn't draw my dinosaurs like that, WHEN SHE WAS THERE, AND SHE DIDN'T TELL THEM THAT I WAS THE ONE THAT DREW THEM LIKE THAT FIRST.. She just took credit for me and it pissed me off! She does that all the time!!!!

She always insisted that she knew what Left 4 Dead was, and she really had no idea until I got her to play it. After a while of playing, she told me that she'd been playing the game for a long time, even though the first time I got her to play it, she didn't know what the hell she was doing. And then, I ordered the Orange Box, and I told her and that I was all excited. I asked her if she knew what games were on it, and she said she didn't know. I told her and she still didn't know what they were. I finally got my Orange Box, and I played Portal with her, and she had NO IDEA that Portal existed. And then I went to her house a little while later, and she told me that she ordered the Orange Box, and she acted like it was the best thing ever. And whenever she bought something, she's always kind of rub it in my face. Because she's try to talk about for as long as possible, and whenever I buy something, I pay for it with my own money with having my mom buy everything I want with her hard earned money (unlike her), and blend just kind of tell her in a subtle way.... I don't like that either... I do not like people rubbing things in my face. Like that one time I went to her house, and she thought it was cool that she had been being a lazy ass and living in her living room for a week. I came over, and there was trash all over, and chords, and it was just a mess. She put EVERYTHING, that I didn't have on the tables around me and everything that both of us had somewhere, so I couldn't really notice it. But, it was like she WANTED ME TO SEE THAT SHE HAD ALL THIS STUFF THAT I WANTED TOO. It bugs me that she doesn't pay for any of it. I had 23 albums, which most of them I've paid for. She didn't pay for any of her CDs with her money.

Sooo, I get to go see Panic! at the Disco during there tour, and I told her because I was very excited, and she was sad that she couldn't go and told me that it wasn't fair. Yeah, it IS fair, because I'm paying for all the tickets, and the majority of the hotel money, which is around $130-$160? I don't see you paying for any of the shit you buy.

And she also insists that she's a really good artist and that she wants to be an artist, when she really didn't give a shit about art a while ago. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with it... just... it bugs me too. D:

SHE BUGS ME AND I HATE HER. But when I'm with her, it's like everything's magical and I love her. But I haven't seen her in such a long time that I don't want to be her friend anymore because she's a bitch, and she always has been, and that she's just so different.  We had so many great memories and I miss doing certain things with her, but is it really worth it? I'm miserable about hating her because I know I'm not going to see her for a while anyways, so should I just tell her I don't want to be friends anymore? I really don't want to take the cowards way out and just kind of drift away. I want to tell her why and that I don't want to. BUT I STILL HATE HER.

What do I do?

And to those of you who read this, HOLY F**K. I'M IN LESBIANS WITH YOU. HONESTLY... If you comment, I mean, I want to marry you in a non-lesbian kind of way. Unless you're secretly a guy... Ummm, I dunno. But honestly, I want to pay yo guys a million dollars if you read all this, this is how important it is... And if I don't get any messages, oh well. I still want to marry you. I cannot explain how amazed I will be if you read all this. I just want to keep writing about it...

SO, TELL THAT BITCH TO STAY THE F**K AWAY FROM BRENDON, AND SPENCER, AND IAN, AND DALLON. ESPECIALLY DALLON.

P.S. Has anyone seen that picture of Brendon in the mankini? I was kind of freaked out... Haha.